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Greetings and welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. How’s the New Year hangover? Better? Wonderful. Hope you didn’t spend the passing of a century tossing Marines at Siege Tanks in hopes of getting close enough to destroy them... What better way to laud the coming of a brand new year than to look back and mock last year's technological horrors, which were unleashed upon us unsuspecting consumers?? Here’s a list of the more unanimously mocked ones, counting down to the biggest dud of 2010: 4. Netbook Navigator Nav 9
Windows 7. Does. Not. Work. With. Touch. Screens. Source: Microsoft The Nav 9 is Microsoft’s answer to the iPad. The one tablet that will restore Microsoft to light and banish the iPad forever. Probably they’re referring to a later version since the Nav 9 clearly is a horrid product. For starters, this would the world’s first tablet PC that you cannot carry around. Why? Battery life is abysmal at best. It’ll barely last the hour, let alone an entire day. The Nav 9 does not come with an integrated accelerometer – so when you need swapping between landscape and portrait view, it can only be done at the settings screen. Heck, that feature is even a staple in regular smartphones. The screen is made of plastic instead of glass, so be prepared for awesome sounds when you drag your finger across it. Best part of the Nav 9? It doesn’t have a holder for its stylus.
3. Looxcie Bluetooth Headset-Camera Combo
Looks awesome though Source: Looxcie Even come across a situation where you see something so awesome – like a Russian bear cavalry marching by, but you’re just to dammed lazy to whip out your phone or camera to take a video? Thank goodness you’re using the Looxcie Bluetooth Headset that comes with a Video Camera to film it all down. Wait, what do you mean it only lasts for 15 seconds, and at a measly 15 frames-per-second? It’s alright. I can live with that. I just need to adjust the headset for a shot... wait, why does it keep dropping out? Heck, why do I have to hold onto it while I jog out of the way of the bears? What’s even the point of this device?
2. Google Wave
Source: Google Let me see a show of hands how many of you out there that has heard of Google Wave? Nobody? Google Wave is Google’s offer of an avenue that merges Instant Messaging, Email, Social Networking and all sorts of stuff into one online stream. Highly-hyped during its launch in 2009, people soon found out why Wave is a dud. Once you logged in, you didn’t know what to do. Envision this: all of your contacts, and all the information from emails, chatting and social networking all streamed live to you, constantly. The overload of information and the rate it changes results in brain explosions from trying to sort out the “relevant” from the “irrelevant”. You’ll get your mom’s birthday wishes at the same time as Viagra spam mail. Niiice!
1. Microsoft KIN
Microsoft KIN 2 Source: Microsoft Took Microsoft a mere 7 years to develop, and a 'lengthy' 48 days to declare the device dead and withdraw it from the market. Billion-dollar solution to the iPhone Menace turned out to be roadkill, for reasons you can read here in my previous article. Universally bashed, and topic of embarrassment for years to come, the KIN easily takes the number 1 spot. Till next time. May the technological horrors haunt your dreams! |
