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Source: Lucasfilm Aaaand that’s it for the weather.
Now, we move on to Tech News, where the more irrelevant information is irrevocably irradiated indirectly into your intuition, rendering it intangible inside the intestinal intricacies of your imbecilic body. All that, neatly tucked into a harmless, innocent Taco Shell. Source: http://odd-facts.blogspot.com When you were younger, half of you must have thought Darth Vader was (and still is) cool. He could swing a light saber, wear a kick-ass breathing apparatus, a cape of black velvet, and of course, had the ability of make coffee while choking other people with his Force Grip.
Force Grip Well, great news then. Apple has given us a way to have the same Death Grip! Let me back up a bit here, since some of you probably don’t know what I’m getting at. The iPhone 4 launched back in late June, giving every user the chance to be Darth Vander by endowing him/her with the ability to perform the Death Grip (only when using the iPhone). Interested?
 Way Cooler. Sold Seperately Unfortunately, your newly-acquired Death Grip only works ON the iPhone. The iPhone 4 has an issue with its own antenna. Holding the phone in a certain manner will cause you to lose reception and even drop ongoing calls. Yes. Just holding the phone in a certain way will make you a Jedi/Sith – who destroys your own calls and data reception with your force powers.
 Facepalm Now Apple has naturally responded to this issue in the best way they can – considering that they are unable to identify if it’s a hardware or a software issue. Head honcho Mr Steve Jobs provided users with a infallible solution: The issue with the Death Grip, is not an issue. Just avoid holding the phone that way - more specifically - avoid gripping the phone at the lower left corner that it would entirely cover them black strips located at the metal band. He further adds that the problem is a commonplace issue for every wireless phone. That’s strange. Last I checked, every single mobile phone IS wireless and you can hold 'em in any damned way you like.
 Yes. Any Damned Way I Like
Source: www.biodomotica.com To further assure you that all is well, Apple says that touching the antenna band will cause interference and no amount of future iPhone updates will change the situation.
But wait! There’s more! Apart from the Death Grip, iPhone 4 users will have a bonus ability to perform Jedi Mind Tricks! With the Jedi Mind Trick ability, your iPhone 4 will display inaccurate signal strength bars: Displaying 5 bars in a low signal area, and 2 bars if there are no reception problems whatsoever.
Well, Apple did come out and admit that they were “stunned” to have their signal bars formula “totally wrong”, which the upcoming update would hopefully fix.
 Or else No need to panic though. This issue can be simply solved with a small purchase. As long as you (purchase) use Apple's USD$30, rubber-and-plastic Bumper Casing, (or if you’re stingy, don’t touch the small metal area at the bottom left corner) then the iPhone should perform as it should. Dayum, that’s a good way to sell accessories. It’s like saying that The Emperor should have bought the optional Two Meter Exhaust Vent Titanium Grate for the Death Star, or else risk the entire thing failing to function.  The aftermath In happier news, remember in a galaxy far far away, I once mentioned the Microsoft KIN? Yes. I have great news regarding the device... It. Is. Dead. Yes, Dead. Microsoft pushed it into the path of an oncoming train, merely two months after launching it, and mere days after slashing its prices. Now how did such an interesting smartphone suffer so horribly? Read my previous article. It’s all there for you to judge. Oh, and considering that the phone was targeted at tweens & teenagers (with ZERO income), with a price tag of USD$100, and has ZERO applications – yes, not even instant messaging.
 Equally pointless BUT not all is doom and gloom! If you’re interested in getting your hands on such a device, Amazon is offering the phone at an amazing price. No, seriously. I wonder if it can replace oil to alleviate the fuel crisis.
And that wraps up the Tech News for tonight. Next on Midnight Theater, Jaws 19... |
