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Good morning and welcome again to another technological update which will test your mortal will to live merely on peanuts, where Syprux will tell the winning lottery numbers, all wrapped in a taco shell...
Do you feel lucky, punk? Many of you readers (and non-readers) out there use some sort of chat client or another, right? May it be MSN Messenger, Yahoo Chat, ICQ, ebuddy (which you use to log onto chat programs illegally while at work or classes). Your savior, during work hours Now, Microsoft wants to bring this chatting experience to an all-new level, by introducing a ton of additional features and what-not into Windows Live Messenger. When building the all-new Live Messenger, the nice people at Microsoft decided that they want us users to have it easy managing multiple chats at the same time (obviously they haven’t seen how teenage girls chat with a bazillion people at once), bring interesting content to the conversation (instead of the usual ROFLWTFBBQZOMG chats) by means of new features, and more. Here are but a few things you can expect: 1. Tabbed Conversations The third most important Internet invention, the Tab (after RickRoll and limitless supply of 'gentleman's watching material') has finally found its way into Live Messenger. Now, instead of having your desktop cluttered with 1,200 windows all blinking red demanding attention, you can concentrate them all into one handy window. I would have to admit that this would be a pretty nice addition to the chatting experience. Now if only I had another friend other than the Magic 8 Ball to chat with… Talk to me! Talk to me!
2. Video Message Remember voice mail? Yeah, the one where you shout profanities into when prompted because your friend refuses to pick up your call? Now Live Messenger grants you another level of madness: leaving a Video Messages. Unlike the voice mail, or offline messages, video messaging allows you to record a (quick) video to freak your friends out or give potential clients a sneak peak at your pay-per-view.
Due to censorship laws, here’s Barney instead! 3. Favourites We don’t like all our friends. Microsoft understands that. As such, the new Live Messenger lets you play favorites with your friends. Segregate your friends! Split them apart! Experience an “Oh Shyt” moment when your girlfriend asks what is your ex doing in your favorites list and she isn’t! Why would favourites be relevant? Glad you asked: 4. Updates, Highlights, Statuses, Commenting - that sounds familiar.. Live Messenger lets your favourite friends rise to the top of your (chatting) list. Instead of an alphabetical favourites list, you get to put your coolest friends first, and your Civics lecturer at the bottom. No only that! You get highlights of your favorite people! (sounds like status updates) You get RICHER status updates, such as those including a small part of a web page! (it sounds very familiar..) But wait, there’s more! You can now comment on updates of your favorite friends! (does it come with a darkish-blue ‘comment’ button while at it?)
Déjà vu! 5. One Login to Rule Them All We all are busy people. We need to constantly monitor the social market to see who’s hot and who’s not, see who’s dating who and who just walked out of a closet. With so many different people using so many different networks, no wonder we are exhausted at the end of the day from all that Password and Username typing. But don’t fret. Live Messenger unifies all the social networking sites under one umbrella so that you can keep yourself updated without having to log in and out of multiple sites. And the best part? You’ll only be kept updated on the important people, ‘cause you made them your (wait for it) Favourites!
Favourite! 6. HD-VC I’m tempted to think that ‘V’ stands for ‘Volton’. The new Live Messenger will come with High Definition Video Chat. See your friend’s response and reaction in real time and in High Definition (provided your ‘net connection doesn’t suck). I don’t know about you, but I do not wear a tux and fix my manly mane when I go chatting. And trust me, you don’t want to see me in boxers, flexing my abs with glistening sweat streaming down my Greek god physique while chatting. HOWEVER, I would say this is the single best thing about the new Live Messenger. Why? Gentlemen’s ‘Watching Materials’. In High-Definition!! Gentlemen’s Watching Material The New Live Messenger will also see mobile support for Window Phones, iPhones, Blackberry (-berries?), and probably pay phones. Well, that’s all the news we have today, back to you Squall.
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