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Good morning and welcome again to another exciting episode where yours truly presents the latest technology news, the ONLY news that matters… all wrapped in a taco shell...
Mmm... Tacos Now for the main story: iPad Invasion Confirmed: Citizens Evacuated! Recently Apple dropped their most aptly-named item yet, the shiny newer iPho- I mean- iPad on us gullible humans, with promises of immortality and everlasting happiness. I know you want me Before I get ahead of myself, let me take a moment to enlighten you on what an iPad is, PLUS what features it comes with (other than immortality). The iPad is a tablet computer developed by Apple with exciting and innovative features such as: 1. Enabling web browsing and email on the go! Coincidentally, this is the exact same thing all smart phones can do. And computers with wheels. This sadly doesn’t address the most important problem that geeks have: someone to send emails to them. Steve Jobs with iPad 2. You can read books on it! Instead of reading books by READING books, you can read books through the iPad. Astounding! At least e-books save trees, you would argue, but powering up the device burns fossil fuel, and we all know fossil fuel doesn’t grow on trees. Unlike money. It’s almost like reading an iPad! 3. A whole new gaming experience! Ever wanted to play iPhone games on a larger screen? What's that you say? You have a third-generation console? A PC? A handheld that's catered only to gaming? Hmm...
4. You can produce impressive documents while on the go!
Now, if you’re interested in the iPad, Apple is retailing their most basic model for USD$499 each. Just as you complete your purchase, Apple will gleefully rub their hands and release iPad version 2.0, which should carry a cheaper retail price, and come with more features resulting in a facepalm from you. Now, not all is gloom and doom. iPad enables users to have a more portable, lightweight tablet PC for them to toy around with, and its touch-screen interface seems specially made for RTS Games as you can click and drag easily with your finger. It is also especially suitable for Racing Games/Simulators if you like your screen attached to your steering wheel. (Think: the world turns and swirls as you turn and swirl your wheel. Fun stuff!)
For e-book fans, initial reactions and reviews have shown that the iPad is a much more favorable e-book reader compared to other e-book readers such as Amazon’s Kindle or RCA, due to the much larger screen. Ready for more good news? Evil Software Empire Gives Free Stuff! Microsoft has recently announced that beginning with Microsoft Office 2010, they are allowing computer makers to bundle a FREE version of Microsoft Office, creatively named Microsoft Office Starter 2010 with new PCs. The catch you say? Firstly, the free products bundled with the new PCs will be scaled-down versions of MS Word and MS Excel. This means free users will get a MS Word and MS Excel sans bells and whistles, and only have access to their core functions: such as opening and even typing documents. No, seriously, that’s it. According to Microsoft’s Senior VP Chris Capossela, the catch here is that the Microsoft Office Starter will feature ads WITHIN the program that would change every 45 seconds. One such example of an ad would be “Don’t you miss PowerPoint?” and proceed to encourage you to buy the full version.
Don’t you miss Lassie? However, there is no guarantee that Microsoft would not proceed to sell ad space and you would have to deal with an irritating hotdog cartoon dancing all over your document until you surrender your soul to Microsoft. Before you panic and accuse Microsoft of heresy (though I am not actually stopping you), Microsoft will allow consumers the option to upgrade their free ad-filled version of Office to the full, legal, non-free version with a simple USD$119 purchase for the most basic package, which consists of MS Word, MS Excel, MS PowerPoint and Ms OneNote. If you can’t afford the upgrade (due to reasons like having to pay the rent), hope you like Singing and Dancing Hotdog men while you work! And that’s all the time we have for this week’s edition of Syprux’s Taco-Wrapped News. Back to you, Kefka.
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